They're gonna make more money than me." Anyone else would give up and leave, or at least up to this point everyone has but her. God forbid that they should make mistakes. Ever since i was a child i had developed depression because i was always in such a negative space. I just want to cry most of the time. Anxiety In Teenagers: What Should Teens And Parents Know? They insist that it is safest to conform to the prevailing philosophy and strongly discourage their children's individualism and nonconformity because they think that if their children refuse to conform to the prevailing groupthink, they will be considered oddballs or worse, be ostracized and left alone, or the parents themselves will be ostracized and denigrated by their neighbors and associates. Question: After not being able to date and having your critical narcissistic mother and kind/go-along father force your career, marrying a violent man, would you say my problems stem from low self-esteem? Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. They want kids who they can easily control, and they are highly threatened by those who exhibit a more independent nature. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. i also developed social anxiety where id think certain people will be as bad as my mother. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. At least that what my family says. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. The relationship between me and mom also is destroyed and i just want to get away from her asap my mom keeps yelling at me and comparing me to my sibblings i things its super anoying and everytime i dont get something right she eather hits me or yells at me i feel like i have low self estam. I did an IQ test at 17, and was told my IQ was 158. Parents should strive to take their own egos out of the equation and instead focus on what the child needs. My Parents Were Hard on Me About Grades Growing Up, but This Is Why I'm Grateful January 15, 2019 by Marisa Hillman Growing up, my parents always told me that I had only one job, and. Guest Instead, focus on helping your child develop good studying and listening habits so that they retain the information they learn in school and apply it to their homework and exams. Both my parents never had caring conversations either, and didnt care if I need help, didnt care about my feelings or thoughts. I think part of me is always looking to die. She remembers everything I ever did in my life that she didn't like and throws it back at me. How To Deal With Teenagers: How Bad Is Peer Pressure, And Can Parents Influence The Peer Group? 10 checks for me and now I felt really empty. My parents are annoying and overpowering horrible people. I've dreamed of being a country singer-songwriter my entire life but my mom has crushed my dreams at every turn. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. Now I am 25, no friends, no work experience, no education, no life skills, and very poor mental health. (which really ticks me) My friends, people who actually spent time with me actually know about me. I had two older Bros, the middle one yr older than me the oldest, 5 yrs older. but whenever i talk to them about these thoughts, they insist it's because i havent eaten properly. WHat should I do? I can't even have a sleepover. Everyone in my family are all doctors and engineers. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. i cant stand my parents anymore please help me im going crazy, Somewhat the opposite to Andrew but ultimately similar. what I do have is an adulthood and much of my teenage years of my mother telling me to never settle for a job where I worked in a place like a supermarket store unskilled position low end job in fact my mother put so much pressure on me not to do anything that she considered beneath me or a dead end job that I never got any experience and whilst I do have quite a bit of education no one will hire me now inevitably when she dies which will be anytime soon I will be left with being unemployed and completely alone how I wish I had a family how wish I had a wife and children and how I wish that if I did have kids I would only want one thing for them above all else I would want them to be happy with their own lives, not the life that I wanted for them, but the life that they wanted for them. Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." They're gonna be more successful than me. Having said that this type of upbringing not only affected on me but on my siblings as well, it resulted in us constantly questioning our own capability. But I don't really know what to do now Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 19, 2018: Please seek counselling I implore you. Plan to move up to the front row, keep an organized assignment pad, find a quiet place to work, do your best, and your grades will go up, guaranteed. is responded to with "when will you get an A in math?". If that doesn't pan out, seek a counselor's help. They want their kids to be perfect because perfection = success. Family vote once upon a Time my dad's vote was to be counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me,? last bit would be that my mother wouldn't praise any of the good i did, she would be so uninterested that slowly i just stopped caring for my family's approval while also stopping what i loved doing. Help the child develop a winning attitude and approach to goal setting and see what happens. I was pushed into gifted programs in school. These are the books we're crushing on this winter, 6 valuable lessons we learned from the Frog and Toad books, The difference between young adult and new adultand why it matters, Your step-by-step schedule for the ultimate New Year's Eve, 5 holiday dessert recipes you need to start making every year, 5 things to consider in your college search, Affordable birthday gifts your bestie will love, How to *actually* get stuff done when you're tired. They are of the belief that there is safety in following the prevailing and/or majority opinion. Your math teacher or guidance counselor can probably recommend someone. Title says it all.. My parents only care about my grades. I having suicidal thoughts many days,I tried to suicide but I still failed,I don't know I am worthless and meaningless or important for their life.They made careers for me that Engineer,But I want to be game developer.I never get praise,I am 23 Years Old Now.I want to kill myself and I can't face the stress anymore! How can I explain them that we are modern teenagers that want to have fun! Comparing Children to Siblings or Other Children, Criticizing a Child's Innate Abilities, Temperament, or Characteristics, Teaching That a Child's Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Are Impossible to Reach, Living Their Kid's Lives and Planning Their Careers, Evaluating a Child's Intellectual Capacity upon Grade Point Average, Zeroing in on So-Called Negative Characteristics. that "I'm grown up now and can start being your own person." I hesitate to feel proud of myself ever because in scared that my parents won't look at it to be proud of. This child begins to lose what sense of initiative and risk-taking that they have and thus they become extremely anxious and risk-aversive, often not electing to attempt anything for fear of failure. If I ever have children,I would never treat them the way my mother treats me.So, one day My moms phone buzzes.My mom is busy,so I look.And Im scrolling and I see that my mom and sister are having a conversation back and forth.And I read a text message thats my mom wrote that said,I never said she was perfect,but she isnt a smart ass.It Hurted me so bad And when I read that.It felt like I got hit by a car,and felt as if I was punched in the stomach.My self esteem went down so quick.No kid should ever feel that way like their not smart,or good enough.For all those parents reading this or people who plan on being parents,dont ever treat your children child like that.You May think,its nothing,but the pain and rejection stings so bad.And you may forget all about it.But the child will remember it forever.Its a scar that will never heal. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Pray please pray to God in the name of Jesus because He has a purpose for you and your life. Parents can affect their kids' grades and not always for the better. i would really appreciate the feedback and the suggestions of what i should do Etc.. umm, here's what i did, im old though and idk if you can still get away with this. Not only will your parents be pleased, but youll feel good about it too. Maybe he/she could intervene on your behalf. So marks for school always has to be 90% and up and nothing less. Things got progressively worse as years went by and I got siblings. it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. Their overprotectiveness affects me in all areas of my life I can't associate with ppl, I can't make friend even in the choir, ppl say I'm rude and lack manners but I don't understand hw. My meds have stabilized my mood. Im sick and tired. Direct a movie and we'll give you an iconic film to binge this weekend. I joined the choir thinking it will help me boost my confidence but I've bn in the choir getting to a year hving never sang and I feel depressed and useless because I want to pursue music as a career but hw can I be a shy musician? Once she told me you will never be a boy so stop pretending to be one. These people are firm believers that their offspring should be carbon copies of them with similar characteristics, interests, and goals. At some camp I started telling jokes one afternoon and I drew people in for hours. Answer: Maybe you feel responsible for your sibling. I'm 29 this year, having suicidal thoughts become normal to me till one day I decided to become my own self-motivator. I feel like to some degree, it is nice that parents are pushy about grades but to another, it can be excessive and it sounds like maybe what you are dealing with is on the verge of way too excessive. I've tried reaching out to people for help. I experience a few highs but many low points in life. My mom doesn't value creativity or musical talent, so I'm forever a disappointment. I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. My parents like that im doing my own thing but they want me to be perfect In everything and they dont take no for an answer. If you make it, who knows. It's so frustrating and demoralizing. now i just have depression wherever i go. I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 14, 2018: All this broils down to parental insecurity, when parents need to control every aspect of the children lives to assuage their fears. Question: I think my parents wanted a perfect child instead they got me. I sing and do it very well. Discover short videos related to parent only care about grades on TikTok. Answer: Your family situation is toxic. I never had much mentors in my life, my parents weren't much of the type to look up to. I am happy with where I am at. the only way I can get an 90% is if I get 100% on the exam and science is my worst subject but "my sister did IB so I should be able to succeed in academic because I am naturally smarter than her but she works harder". They are grossly unhappy, yearning for what might have been. (I am seventy-four.). Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 15, 2018: Seek counselling either by talking to a close friend, relative, or a psychologist. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. There is no need to take a negative tone when speaking to a child about the mistakes they have made. Instead, parents should encourage their children to pursue their dreams and let them figure out if their dreams and goals are reachable or impossible. Your father wants you to be subordinate to him in order to elevate his low self-esteem. What should I do? I should be homeless, rather dead because I wouldn't pan handle I'd just wander off in the woods. She makes sure that I get the education that I will need in the future. If I protested, they would tell me I am lazy and useless and that this was the "small" price I had to pay for being taken care of. But I've started going to the gym and learning about how to look after your body with real foods. Dear Carol, Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. Meantime, I performed exceptionally at primary school, but my mother said it was only because I had dumb kids in my year. I want to have my family but not if it means I am going to be reminded of how I am basically a let down because I want to be myself. For those who are like me feeling depressed and helpless sometimes, you are not alone. They want their children to succeed in life and in their vision, only good grades lead to a successful life. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. I've had a single person stick with me for the last ten years. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). It took me until my mother died to experience detachment and my awakening journey, Too many traumas due to lack of healthy parental guidance and dysfunctional interaction and minimum tlc but I focus on what I can do now and creativity is my saviour, its like i don't know my mom anymore every little thing i do comes with some type of backlash, and I'm always being compared to someone and i think to my self "but I'm not them and they are not your child".
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