You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character. Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. Then, under one provocation or another, the aggrieved one would unearth the old affair and angrily cast its ashes about. More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around. And with such good effect that the doctor agreed to a test among his patients and certain other alcoholics from a clinic which he attends. There is doubt about that. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. Drink was taking an important and exhilarating part in my life. But his venture wound up in a law suit and bogged down completely. We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems. One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother. I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement, for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure. He was on a different footing. I wondered whether I dared hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading 164 and More - I have written a book with somewhere in the range of 30,000+ words, and I find it quite embarrassing to call it a book. A man we know had remarried. You should continue to be friendly to them. We think not. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. Liquor caught up with me much faster than I came up behind Walter. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wifes hope. To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach. The unexpected result was that our husbands seemed to like it. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. Copyright 2020 Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Tomorrow was another day. 6. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Sponsorship Pamphlet. Wasnt it because self-reliance failed us? His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. If we cannot or would rather not do this, we search our acquaintance for a close-mouthed, understanding friend. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. Science tells us so. If he is lukewarm or thinks he is not an alcoholic, we suggest you leave him alone. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. Program, the very first page of the Big Book clearly states that is not the case! It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience. The very practical approach to his problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding which these people had were irresistible. We think we are sensible when we urge that you stop this waste and give your worthwhile man a chance. Still physically weak, and sober but a few months, he saw that his predicament was dangerous. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I dont see what good itll do. Whether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. OUR WOMEN FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering. A.A. Big Book (164 Pages) Big Book Stories Edition 1; Big Book Stories Edition 2; Mel B's Library; Dick B.'s Library; . We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. The doctor proved to be able and exceedingly anxious to adopt any workable method of handling the situation. 8-b. He shouted great tidings. For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is needed or wanted. Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule. He consented, however, to go to the hospital, where he occupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer. It may mean the loss of many nights sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. What had happened? We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. May God bless you and keep you-until then. Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor. Though some of his manifestations are alarming and disagreeable, we think dad will be on a firmer foundation than the man who is placing business or professional success ahead of spiritual development. We think of their needs and work for them. We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. But sometimes our drinking will be used politically. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. What usually happens? She met these responsibilities gallantly. My talent for leadership, I imagined, would place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance. 12 pt type - divide your word count by 350. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years standing melt away in an hour. Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen-Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. Im sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. This was only a few days ago at this writing. In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. It displays the text of the first 164 pages of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous." We found, too, that we had been worshippers. (P) 8-a. My brother-in-law is a physician, and through his kindness and that of my mother I was placed in a nationally-known hospital for the mental and physical rehabilitation of alcoholics. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Presently the man did slip and was fired. Whether you mention this book is a matter for your discretion. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. To this man, the revelation was sudden. One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind. Now these are about to be cast out. When a few men in this city have found themselves, and have discovered the joy of helping others to face life again, there will be no stopping until everyone in that town has had his opportunity to recover-if he can and will. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book. At these informal gatherings one may often see from 50 to 200 persons. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself. While on the subject of confidence, can you adopt the attitude that so far as you are concerned this will be a strictly personal matter, that his alcoholic derelictions, the treatment about to be undertaken, will never be discussed without his consent? I was staring at an inch of the tape which bore the inscription XYZ-32. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. Were nothing left but pure reason, it wouldnt be life. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. I could laugh at the gin mills. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. The 164 and More web site. Your man has probably been trying to conceal a number of scrapes, perhaps pretty messy ones. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety. There is action and more action. When a discussion does arise, you might suggest he read this book or at least the chapter on alcoholism. Your understanding treatment of their cases will pay dividends. Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us. New acquaintances who know nothing of alcoholism might be made and thoughtful consideration given their needs. This had to be stopped. Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself ? As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. This brings to mind a story about one of our friends. I love the ease of use of the Kindle version on my smart phone for use in meetings when you or someone else is trying to remember the page number of a specific passage, or how many times a specific word is mentioned (for instance, RECOVERED- 34 times in the first 164!!!) This just isnt so. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. Both father and the family are mistaken, though each side may have some justification. What are the first 3 words of page 112 of the Big Book? We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person. Our moments of triumph were short-lived. We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. Most of us begin to receive some of the promises as soon as we enter a Twelve Step Program. They shared their homes, their slender resources, and gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow-sufferers. The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Beyonc Black Parade Website, Name the two reasons for the strong sentiment against any radical changes being mad to the first portion of the Big . My judgment and ideas were followed by many to the tune of paper millions. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. Our friends gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: If there is a God, He certainly hasnt done anything for me! But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong? While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell. If not, why waste time with him? He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand. The first 164 pages in plain text format. I was through forever. RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Simply look up a familiar word to find the passage you seek. Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. What has this book become? We went to live with my wifes parents. Bound in burgundy bonded leather, with gold gilding on the edges of the pages. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. BoardPrep Recovery is an excellent option for people who may already be familiar with 12-step recovery but who may also need professional support. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. Flash fiction is anything from The app also contains a Sobriety Calendar where you can enter your sobriety date and see how many years/months/days you currently have. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. Most of us have entered the final stage with its commitment to health resorts, sanitariums, hospitals, and jails. When sober, father usually obeyed. In two months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Now I was to plunge into the dark, joining that endless procession of sots who had gone on before. In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are abnormal, but everybody hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. A new world came into view. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. He wished above all things to regain self-control. Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. We have no reason to doubt it. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re- emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. There was something about his eyes. If this kind of approach does not catch your husbands interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself. You can use any of our indexes with either edition. You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. When we were invited out, our husbands sneaked so many drinks that they spoiled the occasion. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. While a general guideline is one page is 500 words (single spaced) or 250 words (double spaced), this is a ballpark figure. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. For three for four months the goose hung high. His action met wide-spread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. We stayed on and on. Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to people when they have a right to know were he is and what he is doing. We have been terror stricken. I thought of my poor wife. Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. But we think that if you persevere, the percentage of successes will gratify you. An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. That was natural, but let us think a little more closely. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. But the God idea did. You will lose the old life to find one much better. Have there been any significant changes in the first 164 pages? His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. We have tried these methods. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve. That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. I had a few words with the boss, but nothing serious. Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially. This case contains a powerful lesson. Of course he couldnt drink, but why not sit hopefully at a table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? Malo WA 99150. Freds story speaks for itself. In the morning we have kissed and made up. Triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom our women FOLK have suggested certain attitudes a may... 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